Brutally Honest Rant - 11/22/06

Brutally Honest Audio Rant: Tale Of Two Builders
Audio Transcripts
11/22/06

[Start Program]

(Computer – Introduction)
(Music intro – "American Idiot Remix" – by Green Day and David Matthews 2)

Good evening, and welcome to this week’s Brutally Honest Rant. I’m David Matthews 2, writer of the weekly online column Brutally Honest.

I have a little story for you this week… one that I’m sure you’ll understand quite well given recent events.

Once upon a time there was a real estate developer who died. This developer had several construction projects up in the air for the local community, and, as it turned out, he had inadvertently given the same project to two very competitive builders. Both builders consider themselves to be the best that there is at what they do. They don’t work with anyone else, and they believe that they should have the EXCLUSIVE rights to carry out the project as originally contracted. They absolutely refuse to work together, because they really hate each other, and they have vowed that if they aren’t allowed to develop the project, that they would tie the whole thing up in the courts for YEARS.

Well the town officials sat down with both builders, and they decided that the only way to settle this dispute is to have a contest between the two of them. They would each be given an identical plot of land , with identical supplies and a GENEROUS amount of funds, and in eleven months they had to build their ideal house and actually live in it. Whoever had the better house would win the project.

Now eleven months is MORE than enough time for a builder to build one house, so the town officials expect these houses to be mind-blowing!

Three months go by and the town officials go to check in with the two builders. They both show off what kind of ideal house they’re trying to build. Hi-tech wonders full of amenities, with plenty of room for living and storage. So then the officials go to the two plots to see how these plans are being implemented.

The first builder, a guy by the name of Gus, has the foundation blocked off and is still pouring concrete. Gus explains that the foundation is the most important part of the whole building, so he wants to make sure that he has a SOLID foundation before he can put anything else up. Meanwhile, the second builder, a guy by the name of Dan, has the basic frame up and is already working on the wiring and the plumbing, but there’s something missing. Something’s not quite right with the building. Gus knows, of course, but he isn’t saying what it is. Dan assures the officials that he should have his house done by the six-month check-in and that he will be moving in right afterwards.

Six months go by since the start of the contest and the town officials go back to check on the two builders. Both builders have spent an extraordinary amount of money on their respective projects, so they’re hoping that it’ll all come out in the results.

They show up at the first plot and Gus is STILL working on the foundation. He is OBSESSED with making sure that everything is JUST RIGHT with the foundation. He’s smoothing the concrete, making sure everything is nice and balanced and secure. He’s also put up some security around the house. A couple of armed guards and a few watchdogs. You see, Gus is afraid that once the house is completed, people may want to break in and rob the place. So he’s got the security force looking after the area. Plus he just doesn’t trust Dan… especially after what happened to Dan’s house.

They go to the second plot and Dan is back to square one… putting up the frame. You see, Dan never bothered to put in a foundation the first time around. He doesn’t feel that the house needs one. The Native Americans never needed one, the early American Colonists never needed one, and so Dan feels that he doesn’t need one either. Well, it turns out not too long after the three-month check-in, there was a nasty rainstorm that came through… and it knocked the whole frame down. So he was back to square one. And then a month later, it happened again… and then just a few weeks previous to this visit, it happened again. So he’s back to square one… for the fourth time.

Nine months go by… they’re almost at the November deadline. The town officials go back to check on the builders. Again, they noticed an extraordinary amount of money being spent on these projects and they want to see some results. This time around, a lot of time is spent talking with the builders separately about their spending instead of actually going out to the site.

Gus explains how recent concerns about security have forced him to make some changes to his overall plan. But they’re minor changes, he said… the town officials supposedly wouldn’t notice a thing! And he was pleased to announce that he IS finished with the foundation… it is rock-solid… and he’s already started on the framework, and that the rest of the building would be up in no time! And the additional costs? Well that’s for the additional security for the property and the new security systems that he’s ordered. These are all state-of-the-art systems, and they’re not cheap… but, then again, security isn’t cheap.

Dan explained that he’s also had to make some minor changes to his overall plan, due to the fact that all of his previous attempts were knocked down by storms. But he assures the town officials that he’s come up with a new method of security the building that doesn’t use traditional foundation methods, and he claims that the current frame has already weathered one windstorm, so he should also be ready and living in the new house by the November deadline.

And the additional costs? Well in addition to having to start back at square one… numerous times… he’s also done some research into better construction methods. He had to hire some researchers and advisors. That’s how he came across the new foundation-free method he’s using. Plus… well, he figured that he’s going to win this contest anyway, so he set aside some money for a little celebration. The town officials were a little miffed at the idea, until it was brought up that they were guilty of doing that as well.

So here it is… November… time to find out who built the better home.

The town officials show up at the first plot. The original design called for a two-story colonial-style house with full amenities. The house the Gus built, though, was a one-story enclosure comprised of clear Plexiglas surrounded by a cast-iron framework. There are no rooms inside this house, and no amount of privacy whatsoever other a small area next to the shower for the sake of "modesty". And every corner of the house, as well as the surrounding yard, are bathed in glaring white lights.

Gus has been living in this house for over a week, although not too comfortably. Most of the amenities are jury-rigged because they are designed for walls that were never built. The high-tech security systems are also jury-rigged into place, although they are about as useful as the fifteen elderly armed guards and five burned-out watchdogs patrolling the area.

But Gus points out that the house is ROCK SOLID thanks to its superior foundation. The cast-iron framework will never bend or warp and the Plexiglas walls will never shatter. Well… unless there’s hail. The town officials note, though, that the foundation does have some serious ugly cracks as it settled, even though Gus claims that there’s nothing wrong with it at all.

The town officials go over to the other plot to see what kind of "ideal home" Dan has built. Dan originally came up with plans for a one-story ranch house. While the house they saw was one-story, they could hardly call it "ranch-style". It was more like "funhouse-style". Nothing was straight. Oh the "non-foundation" kept the frame from being knocked down from storms, but there were also very visible areas where the floors and walls were warped. The amenities were there, and they did work, although some of them had to be jury-rigged because of the structural distortions. Some of the pipes leaked and there were a few exposed outlets. BUT Dan said that IT IS livable, and he had been actually living there for all of two days. The real question would be if anyone else would want to live there.

So there you have it, folks… two houses that were FAR LESS than the "ideal homes" that they were sold to be. Made by people who CLAIMED to be the best at what they do, and who believe that THEY should be the EXCLUSIVE builders of the project.

So now let’s suppose that you’re one of the town officials being asked to make a choice. What kind of house would you want to live in? Which builder would you rather give the project to? I’m sure that most of you would be thinking "none of the above" but you really don’t have that option in this case. If you choose to go with a third option, then BOTH of the builders will be taking you to court… and it would really be the only thing that the two of them would be willing to do together.

Now… let’s get brutally honest here… this story is obviously a metaphor for today’s zero-sum political thinking. Gus represents the GOP, and Dan represents the Democrats. They both make lofty promises, but in principle they come up short. Not to mention the fact that they gobble up an incredible amount of money and then try to excuse it afterwards. The question that we continually have to ask every November is which one we would rather work with. Whose house would YOU rather live in?

And you’re probably wondering… if these two builders were "the best that there is", then WHY would they do such a crappy job at these dream houses? Why deviate so badly off their original designs? Well the answer to that is simple: if you only have two choices, and you’re one of those two choices, then you don’t have to give it your best… you only have to be just slightly better than the alternative. That, too, is the message that we’re constantly getting from our current political parties.

(Computer – some stuff… but you’ll have to hear the rant to know what they are)
(Fade Music In – "Who Am I" by Peace Orchestra)

And now I have a challenge to you. I want you to go to my weblog site… the address is d2brutallyhonest-dot-blogspot-dot-com… and look for the transcripts to tonight’s show. It’ll be clearly marked "Brutally Honest Rant – 11/22/06". Go over those two options in the story I just gave you, and in the comment section let me know which one of the two houses that YOU would rather live in. There’s no login needed. You can post your choices anonymously if you so wish.

I’d really like to know what everyone thinks about the story, and of course, which kind of house that you would rather live in. Remember, you only have those two choices, so be sure to choose wisely. And to borrow from a certain recently laid-off government official… you make your choices with the options you HAVE, not the options that YOU WISH you had.

(Pause)

Brutally Honest is a Get Brutal production, all opinions expressed are those of the commentator, and may or may not be shared by the online provider. This is David Matthews 2 saying good night, and I’ll speak with you soon!

(Fade out)
(Computer – Ending/"End of Recording")

[End of program]
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