Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Brutally Honest Rant - 11/01/06

Brutally Honest Audio Rant: Pre-Election Thoughts
Audio Transcripts

[Start Program]

(Computer – Introduction)
(Music intro – "American Idiot Remix" – by Green Day and David Matthews 2)

Good evening, and welcome to this week’s Brutally Honest Rant. I’m David Matthews 2, writer of the weekly online column Brutally Honest.

Well my friends as of tonight, we are just a couple of days away from the November mid-term elections, and I’ve got a couple of bones to pick with both conservative and liberal groups.

BUT FIRST… let me start with a very important message. Listen very carefully now. X equals 1.

Do you get it? X equals 1. Let me repeat that for you. X equals 1.

Now it’s important that you know that X equals 1. It’s important because where I’m going with this will either confirm your political suspicions or kick them squarely in the nuts. But right now, the important thing for you to remember is that X equals 1.

Okay, the first bone to pick is with the Old Fart’s Club… the AARP. You see, two years ago a certain musician decided to have a special campaign slogan called "Vote or Die". He tried to motivate the young generation into voting in the 2004 presidential elections by giving them a rather absurd idea that if they don’t vote, then they would die. It was a stupid idea but MTV ran with it anyway. Unfortunately it didn’t really motivate the Generation Y crowd, although they would have had a better chance of getting interest if MTV didn’t fill their schedules with mindless programming that borderlines on reality that nobody ever watches.

Well the Old Fart’s Club came out with a different take. Instead of getting people to vote, they’re telling people to NOT VOTE!

I’m serious! That’s their whole campaign! "Don’t Vote!" They even have a commercial featuring a Stepford Pod Person who croons about how he’s such a GREAT guy and a loving husband and the PERFECT candidate for the unnamed political office, but just don’t ask him about Social Security.

Of course the rest of that message goes as follows: "don’t vote until you know where the candidates stand on certain issues." And by "certain issues", of course, they mean Social Security and other elderly programs.

Well I’ve got problems with that general idea. First of all, one of the old political tactics is to have a bus pull up at some retirement community, load it up with seniors, maybe offer them some coffee for the trip, and then on the way to the polling place remind them which party or which candidate was responsible for this little favor. You don’t need to be a mind reader to know how those free passengers are going to vote.

Second, I grew up in small towns and small communities, with people who have small minds to match, and I KNOW from experience that unless a candidate actually does something to specifically piss that group off, old farts will ALWAYS vote for the incumbent. ALWAYS. You know why? (Old voice) "’Cuz that’s the way it’s been, and we like it that way."

Third, a hard and bitter reality is that our caustic political system has CREATED the Stepford Pod Person personae that the candidates are using. It’s plastic and it’s phony and it’s fake because that’s the only way that a candidate can survive nowadays. They can’t deal with any kind of sensitive political issue unless they can count on certain special interest groups to deliver them the win. So that smarmy, crooning, Pod Person is never going to talk about Social Security as long as he plans on pulling that Election Day bus up to pick up a bunch of old farts to get their vote.

And fourth… while I appreciate the general idea that people should be INFORMED about those that they vote for, I don’t think that telling people NOT to vote without that information is the way to go. We have a hard enough time just getting people TO the ballot box… especially for mid-term elections! And that same caustic political system is intentionally and systematically designed to turn people AWAY from the ballot box!

Let’s get brutally honest here… The Democrats and the Republicans DO NOT want you to be anywhere NEAR that ballot box if they cannot absolutely secure your vote! If they can’t put you down as 100% on their side, then you are considered a threat to their campaign. THAT’S why you see negative campaign ads! THAT’S why you see mud slinging, especially in this year’s season. That’s why you’re hearing about horror stories about these electronic voting machines and threats of hacking and vote-changing. It’s not to "enlighten" the voters. It is all done intentionally, deliberately, and systematically to KEEP YOU AWAY from the ballot box!

Is any of this sinking in yet? THEY DO NOT WANT YOU TO VOTE!

So I say a POX on the Old Fart’s Club and any other special interest group or talk show host that tries, either in jest, inference, or outright, to keep you away from that ballot box! YOU NEED to be at that ballot box. YOU NEED to fulfill your end of the deal here. If you don’t like how the way things are right now, if you don’t like the pissing games and the name-calling and the ineptitude and the corruption, then it is YOUR JOB and YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to get your sorry asses out to the ballot box and VOTE!

And if you don’t know who to vote for, I’ll make it really simple for you. If you don’t like the way things are right now, then you vote AGAINST the incumbent. I don’t care which party they represent! Vote them out! Vote third party if you have to. Put your own name down as a write-in candidate. If your state allows a "none-of-the-above" option then use it! But DON’T YOU DARE tell me that your vote doesn’t count! We spent a whole frigging MONTH in 2000 arguing over who won in Florida, and then again in Ohio in 2004. The only way that your vote will never count is if you never cast it! THAT is the ONLY wasted vote in America, and every single eligible voter who refuses to do their part in that regard has wasted not only their vote, but they also forfeit any justification to complain about how screwed up things are.

THIS is your system. THIS is your time! This is the ONLY time that polls and spin-doctors and the air-fluffed media have NO SAY on the course of action. It’s all up to YOU.

Now, on to that other matter… earlier in this rant I mentioned a little statement that I said was important. Three little words. "X equals 1". I said those words over and over and over again.

Now let’s suppose that I were to continually reiterate that statement of "X equals 1" over the course of… oh, I don’t know… let’s say three years. Bring it up at EVERY opportunity. Make it a regular talking point for all conversation. Recite it as a mantra, and get others to recite it as well.

Obviously, the statement itself…. "X equals 1"… really means nothing. It’s just a substitute for any kind of talking point mantra that you want to insert in its place. Like… oh, I don’t know… "keep on trucking"… or… "keep it going"… or something along those lines that I’m sure you’ve heard over and over and over again.

So now let’s suppose that I’ve reiterated that certain mantra of "X equals 1" over and over and over again for three years. Then I suddenly backtrack. Not only do I say that "X doesn’t equal 1" but I go so far as to DENY THAT I EVER SAID that "X equals 1".

Guess what you would call me if I did that? Yeah, you would damn well know what you would call me if I pulled that kind of a stunt. You would call me a LIAR! Some of you might even travel long distances just to get in my face and call me that.

So here’s my problem: there’s this guy over at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue who had a familiar little mantra that he reiterated over and over and over again for three years. Not only was it HIS mantra, but it was also a favorite mantra of his father. You may have heard of this mantra… it was called "stay the course". Well this past week, he backtracked and actually said that the whole thing in Iraq was NEVER about "stay the course"! Not only that, but his ass-kissers then claimed that he only said that phrase maybe eight times.

Eight? Eight, you say, Mister "former Fox News anchorman"? Try almost thirty! This was HIS mantra, this was his FATHER’S mantra, and it even was Ronald Reagan’s mantra!

So if I create a buzzword mantra and say it over and over and over again and then abandon and deny it and I’m called a LIAR for doing that… then what does that make the resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue when he does the very thing involving a policy that keeps thousands of Americans in harm’s way – for right reasons or not? Wouldn’t that person also be called a LIAR?

You know, eight years ago, the previous resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue got caught with a lie, and he was impeached for it. Obviously the circumstances surrounding this lie are completely different. The current resident of that address cannot be impeached for this particular lie. But we also shouldn’t cower away from calling it for what it is. It’s one thing to make a change when change is needed but you don’t start revising history to cover up the fact that you are making that change!

I know that the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue hates the reference, but that kind of action comes right out of a certain book by George Orwell. I would suggest that he include that book in his "reading list", but then again, I’m beginning to wonder if he doesn’t already have it right next to his Bible.

(Computer – oh come on, you know I’ll have a political mix for you to listen to!)
(Fade Music In – "Heretic, Hero" by Martin O’Donnell and Michael Salvatori)

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Since I am a libertarian, I know that it’s not likely that my kind of candidates will ever win an election. I will still vote for them, though, because I’m being honest with myself. I was suckered into the whole "lesser of two evils" scam once, and I will never make that kind of Faustian deal again if I have anything to say about it! And guess what? Since I vote, I do have a say!

So pretty much the only pleasure that I derive from the political season is watching arrogant people fall! It’s pure Schadenfreude, and I’m man enough to admit it. But for the 99% of the time that myself and just about every American in this country gets screwed over by these arrogant, self-righteous, dickheads and prima donna bitches and their special interest buddies, it’s good to know that we have that 1% where we get the chance to put these people in their place.

THAT’S the real reason why I vote! It’s my way of letting the system know that after spending BILLIONS of dollars and wasting THOUSANDS of airtime minutes trying to get me to not vote, that I’m still there and I’m still voting my conscience. It’s my way of giving them a message… and that message can be best described not with buzzwords or talking points or really clever mantras, but with two simple letters… F-U!


Brutally Honest is a Get Brutal production, all opinions expressed are those of the commentator, and may or may not be shared by the online provider. This is David Matthews 2 saying good night, and I’ll speak with you soon!

(Fade out)
(Computer – Ending/"End of Recording")

[End of program]

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