Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The Demon Shows His Horns!

Well congrats Pat Robertson! You finally showed your true colors!

For those who don’t know, the founder of the Christian Coalition just called on the US government to ASSASINATE a foreign leader on his own syndicated TV show!

Apparently Robertson has a pissing contest against Venezuela’s president Hugo Chavez, who is buddy-buddy with communists like Cuba’s Fidel Castro. Venezuela also is one of America’s significant suppliers of foreign oil, and Chavez has just threatened to send his country’s crude elsewhere. So Robertson went on his 700 Club show and said that since Chavez is paranoid about US hit squads, we should just go ahead and KILL HIM! We’d supposedly be doing ourselves a favor, and it would “save” our supply oil because it’s just ONE MAN.

Bear in mind that this is not like previous statements that Robertson made regarding the “demise” of people he opposes. Previously he had publicly asked God to “retire” several members of the US Supreme Court. But now he’s not even waiting for GOD to do the job! Now he’s advocating the US Government to ACTUALLY MURDER someone!

GREAT! Thanks Pat! You’re finally justifying everything about yourself that people like me have feared. You’re showing your TRUE values, Pat! And guess what? Those values are no more Christian than the Pharasees that conspired to put Jesus to death!

Now comes the fun part… how will Robertson weasel out of this? And he had better think fast, because his conservative evangelicals aren’t going to back him up on this, and Chavez is threatening legal action. Robertson started an international incident! He could very well be charged with advocating acts of terrorism! That’s not good for his unholy empire.

If Robertson is true to form, his weasel-out plan will touch on one or more of the following…

1. Robertson will claim that his comments were “taken out of context”. This is a common tactic, and it’s the closest thing to outright saying “I never said that”. He could always claim that he wasn’t “speaking for himself” but rather on behalf of some “hypothetical listener”.

2. Robertson could always claim that he was “possessed by the devil” and that instead of speaking “God’s” words, like he supposedly does, he was actually channeling Satan. Maybe if he blamed it on some of those “miracle diets” that he used to peddle on his show, that might buy some forgiveness from his sheep.

3. Robertson could always claim to be a victim of the “vast left-wing conspiracy” that has been trying to take “God” out of schools and government and homes. He could always claim to be the victim of a “witch hunt” in the media. That’ll bring the conservatives back to his beck and call.

4. When all else fails, Robertson will BEG for forgiveness on his show and ask that people simply forget what he said. And especially he will BEG that the federal government simply “let this one slide”. After all, it was just a “slip of the tongue”. He didn’t really “mean it”, right? His “little mistake” shouldn’t result in him spending his remaining years of his life in Club Fed, right?

I think that pretty much covers the weasel-out plan. Did I forget anything? Oh, yeah, the midnight pardon from the Bush Imperium. Well, first they’d have to bring criminal charges against him in order to pardon him, and I just don’t see that happening. The Imperium doesn’t punish their friends. Why do you think that Darth Rove still has a job? Anyway, worst comes to worst, the Imperium will issue that midnight pardon for Robertson the night before Bush Junior leaves the White House in January of 2009.

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