Monday, February 07, 2005

Will the censors act?

Watched the Super Bowl the other day, and I have to give Fox credit for a good show.

Few thoughts:

* I liked the opening ceremony with the military and the veterans of World War II and the joint efforts of the armed forces to sing the national anthem.

* Now, amidst all of the pomp and ceremony, did anyone notice the thing that did not belong there? There was someone in that group that basically had no reason to be there. Here's a hint: he's got grey hair, he's from Arkansas, he's been kissing a lot of UN butt of late, and he never served in the armed forces. Oh, and once upon a time he was impeached. Okay, that were some big hints, but you should figure this one out.

* Halftime was predictably clean... When you have Sir Paul McCartney on stage, you know you're not going to have any wardrobe malfunctions or anything like that. And that's fine. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the guy, but I have to wonder why the NFL even bothers with a big halftime production anyway? Come to think of it, the pre-show production is just as lame, and they don't really need to have that going anyway.

* The minute I saw Paul up on stage with just a guitar my first though was "Oh geez, Ashlee Simpson all over again!"

* Kudos to Fox for pulling the plug on that whole post-game "groups are more important than individuals" speech that the Patriots owner was about to lay on America. That really wasn't needed or called for. The team may have done a superb job of shutting down Donovan McNabb and company, but they're a team of individuals who knew what they had to do and they did it!

And now the list:

Sure, most of the commercials were squeaky clean, and some of them were even cute. Budweiser did a great job with the commercial with the servicemen showing up at the airport and getting a standing ovation from the passengers. Definitely the best of the best.

BUT... there were some commercials that I have a feeling that the Parents Television Council, the self-appointed grand mullahs of moralism, are going to declare jihad over.

Here's the list of commercials by sponsors...

Tobasco: Attractive girl in a bikini full of Tobasco images walks around on the beach, comes home, shakes a few drops of Tobasco sauce in her shrimp dip, takes a sample, then pulls her top partly to one side to show she got an under-suit sunburn. You know the PTC will declare the girl in the bikini to be offensive! Girl in halter top and jeans testifies in front of the Censorship Committee about what she would like to do in a commercial when her spaghetti-string top pops off in an apparent "wardrobe malfunction". But she doesn't stop, she simply gyrates around while the censors gasp for oxygen. I'm pretty sure the PTC will object to the characterization of their efforts as being a bunch of old farts. It's a far greater sin to challenge the censor than it is to question their decisions. That and the girl and how she is dressed.

FX: Yes, Fox's own cable channel. Why? Because they put a promo out for "The Shield", which is an "M"-rated show! The PTC has been trying to get rid of that show since day one, even though it airs at 10pm. Oh sure the promo is clean, but that doesn't matter. Moralists do not want ANY mention of a program they object to! EVER! The only news that they EVER want to publicly hear about a show they object to is its cancellation. They certainly don't want to hear a commercial asking people to WATCH the show!

And finally,

Ameritrades: The commercial about the kitty spilling over the tomato sauce and the conclusion the guy's wife makes when she walks in. Remember that the implication of violence is just as bad as showing violence according to moralists.

So I guess we'll just find out which commercial gets the PTC's official campaign of censorship.

Stay tuned....

UPDATE: It turns out that the folks at GoDaddy got the first slap of censorship. After visiting the website (which does domain registrations, in case you're wondering), I found out that there was a SECOND ad that was supposed to air at the 2-minute warning of the fourth quarter.

Fox was supposedly ordered by the National Football League to pull the ad.

So it turns out that the golden rule of not ridiculing censors does apply here. Shame on Fox and shame on the NFL for being the censorship pricks they are! You folks are each due one bitch-slap.

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