Quick thoughts about Xmas

How did Rudolph become "the most famous reindeer of all" if all he's mentioned in is that silly song? What else did he do to get that distinction? Did he lead a commando strike against Iraq or something?

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Crusading Conservatives hell-bent of forcing people to say "CHRISTMAS" instead of "Xmas" need to get a clue! The "X" on "Xmas" is the Greek letter "Chi", which is the start of the word ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ, which is Greek for Christ. People began using the abbreviated version because it was easier to write. You remember writing, don't you? It was that thing that people did before keyboards, and typewriters were just a bit too bulky to lug around all of the time.

Oh, BTW, just because you have a cross up your butt, it doesn't mean that you're handicapped, so stop acting like you are!

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"National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" may seem like a comedy to some families, and a sick joke to others, but for some it's a documentary.

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The jewelry stores have apparently picked up that annoying habit from the car dealers about running LOUD COMMERCIALS during the holiday season. Another brutal voice on the airwaves has a very simply rule regarding this tactic: the louder the voice, the dumber the target audience.

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"I'll Be Home For Christmas" is really a very cruel song if you think about it. I'll be home, you can count on it, have all of the trimmings and decorations up, I'll be there... but only in our dreams! That's cruel!

What's even crueler is that there are plenty of servicemen and women who have to go through the real thing. Hang in there guys!

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Thankfully, once again we are not besieged with a "gimme" gift. There is no "absolutely, positively, gotta risk life and limb to get" gift this year. No riots in the stores, no black market, no hysteria.... The closest thing to a "gimme" gift are those new iPod players, but they're still pretty expensive and there is still that battery issue to deal with.

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Shopping at Target is a whole lot easier now that we don't have to worry about bell-ringers! And it hasn't stopped people from showing up either. (Are you listening AFA? Oh, that's right, I forgot, you don't listen, you DICTATE and then expect everyone else to listen and obey.)

By the way, I went shopping recently (for groceries) and I came across one of those bell-ringers. So after I did my required grocery shopping, I pulled out a dollar to give to the kettle (as I try to do every time), but by then, the guy packed up shop and moved the kettle indoors. So, you see, I DO give when it's possible! I have nothing against the charities, but I don't think that one charity should be given a special exemption from a company policy just because of intimidation tactics from the anti-American Family Association!

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In the screwed-up department: did you ever notice that when we're kids, we want toys, but then end up with socks and underwear? But then when we become adults, we want socks and underwear and end up getting toys! Why can't we get that right?

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Does anyone REALLY give a brand new car away as a gift for Christmas? I mean, it's a little hard to hide that sucker!

Update: Apparently some folks DO give new cars away for Christmas... but they're all people who can afford rich luxury vehicles. Must be nice to have that much money to burn.

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If NORAD can track Santa, can't the terrorists track him as well? Maybe Donny Rumsfeld should ship some armor up to the North Pole!

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Who came up with the asinine belief that Santa only goes to rich people's homes? Growing up, my family was FAR from rich, but Santa always made an appearance. Santa shows up at my sister's home every year, much to the delight of her two little girls, and they're also struggling to make ends meet. Both of my parents didn't come from "rich" homes, but Santa still showed up at those places each and every year. So all you class warfare liberals knock off your BS!

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You know the song "The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year"? They suggest that we spend our time telling scary ghost stories... now aside from "A Christmas Carol", does ANYONE really tell ghost stories during Christmas? Again, another one of those PAGAN Yuletide traditions!

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How did fruitcake get a bad rap? Did you ever EAT fruitcake? (Yes, with your mouth, not use it as a sopository as the Christian Conservatives seem to do.) Let me tell you, as a college graduate that spent many a night with the 2am munchies before finals, fruitcake is very filling!

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Did you know it takes a lot of effort to be a Scrooge or a Grinch? You have to have a real PASSION to despise Christmas, and it's the same passion one would have to LOVE Christmas. It takes almost zero effort to be apathetic. So the real enemy of Christmas isn't the one who HATES the season... it's the one that just doesn't give a damn.

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I wonder how the Christian Conservatives would respond if I started wishing people a "Merry Ho-Ho"? Well those kinds of people are in desperate need of a "Merry Ho-Ho" to begin with! Have you ever tried to be merry and festive with a whole fruitcake rammed up your butt?

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Okay folks, that's going to be it for quick thoughts. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, and Merry Ho-Ho... and if you take offense to my words, then go seek a proctologist, because you probably have some fruitcake with holly leaves and mistletoe crammed up your butt!