Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Ashlee Simpson = Phony Baloney

So Ashlee Simpson, kid sister to Jessica Simpson, claims that "acid reflux" caused her to use a tape-recording of her songs instead of singing them live on Saturday Night Live? Well I'm sure nobody would have been the wiser if the audio hacks didn't screw it up, right? But they did, and she got caught pulling a Milli Vanilli/Phony Baloney act.

Well as Elton John best asked it... "Since when is lip-synching LIVE?"

So Ashlee had to cover up her little gaffe, and "acid reflux" was the best her father could come up with? Was he watching one of those pharmacy commercials when he thought about it? I half expected her to drop a plug for some new drug when she was explaining her action on the Today show.

And then she says that EVERY major artist does this sort of stuff... Yeah, nice going Ashlee! Why not give away all of the OTHER dirty little secrets of the music biz while you're at it?

Methinks she's been hanging around her sister for too long... her blond roots are starting to show.

Speaking of blondes... Britney Spears-Tease-Homewrecker-Rodham-Federline is telling people that she needs some more "time off". FROM WHAT??? She was supposedly ALREADY on the disability list for her bum knee when she pulled off that impromptu marriage. She's not doing concerts. She's not recording new songs. She's not doing new videos. What else does she need a break from, other than the Paparazzi?

Do yourself a favor... take Hef up on his standing offer... appear in his magazine... then take yourself and your new soulmate and his two children and just disappear to someplace like Key West. Open up your restaurant and just fade away into obscurity to pump out as many little dancing puppies as you wish. Let those last ticks of your 15 minutes go gentle into that good night.

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