Friday, January 21, 2005

Exit Polls: Why Bother?

The alphabet soup media is still out there trying to figure out what the heck happened to their precious 2004 Election exit polls. Theories are plentiful as to how their polls could show John Kerry as the winner and yet still lose to Bush Junior.

One theory is that they recruited too many youngsters as poll workers. Maybe if they recruited some old farts then they would have ended up with a more balanced report. The only problem with that idea is that the only people who show up at the polls during the middle of the day are the old folks or the unemployed. Old people are a mainstay to elections! Why do you think Social Security has been such a "third rail" issue?

Another theory is that the poll workers spent too much time polling women and should have been more balanced in their selections. Hey guys? If they're youngsters and they're polling a disproportionate number of women, then they're trying to score some dates!

Look, I'm going to tell it to you straight: the reason why the exit polls failed is because THEY DON'T WORK!

Trying to measure a small portion of society and then claiming that it represents the whole is an arrogant presumption on the onset. And it was that presumption that came back and bit the media in their pampered butts!

And I know why they supposedly "NEED" these polls... because they want to have "the exclusive"! They want to be the FIRST ones to announce a winner! Well guess what? That kind obsession leads to fatal mistakes. CBS found out about that the hard way with the infamous "Memos". So did CNN a few years back with that whole "Tailwind" story.

Plus they make the air-fluffed members of the media look downright stupid, especially when the results turn out differently. "XYZ News reports that with only one-and-a-half percent of the votes tallied, Joe Schmoe is the winner!" And then when Joe Schmoe ends up losing, these air-fluffed personalities shrug and say "Whoops! Guess I look like a dumbass, huh?"

So CBS, ABC, CNN, NBC, Fox, AP, Reuters, and anyone else obsessed with knowing before you know... do yourself and the rest of the thinking world a favor and KILL THE EXIT POLLS! Believe me, you'll thank yourselves later.

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