My thoughts on Falwell's death

You know, I was sitting here trying to come up with a way to properly express my thoughts about the death of Bible-thumping blowhard Jerry Falwell when my father emailed me about the status of his kidney stone surgery. My father had to be taken to the hospital for this kidney stone that decided to come loose and impale itself someplace that was causing him tremendous debilitating pain. They tried drugs, and that didn’t work. Finally they had to go in there and remove the stone from his body.

My father said that his kidney stone was half-an-inch long, with sharp spikes on both ends. His doctor described it as a nail impaled through a tennis ball. And I thought about that description for a minute or two and I realized that it was the PERFECT description of Falwell!

Here was a little itty-bitty PRICK that was the cause of so much debilitating pain for the body America!

They say that it is impolite to speak ill of the dead. Funny, thing, though… a convicted criminal gets executed or someone like Saddam Hussein gets shuffled off this mortal coil, and the media is RIFE with comments about how that person’s passing came way too late and what a waste of oxygen that person was when they were alive. So the concept is in principle nothing more than a combination of ignorance and arrogance.

Likewise, I have very little to say about Falwell that does not involve speaking ill of the dead. He never earned my respect in life, so I will not give him any in death. You don’t measure a life only by the good that they do, but by ALL that they do, and likewise we do history a disservice by candy-coating the passing of this chunky social parasite.

Jerry Falwell was a walking, talking, bodily obstruction. He was abrasive, abusive, and he relished doing it. He wasn’t above making wild accusations for the sake of media attention.

He shoved his fat greedy finger in front of the cameras after 9/11 and went down a list of groups that he opposes and falsely accused THEM of causing that tragedy. For that sin alone, he should forever burn in hell.

He shoved his fat greedy finger at a television character from a show designed for infants and accused that character of advancing a homosexual agenda simply because it was purple, had a triangle-shaped antenna, and carried around a bag. For that sin alone, he should forever burn in hell.

He stole the PTL Ministries from Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, claiming to hold it “in trust” until Jim Baker was out from prison for the crimes that he committed, only to then refuse to return control of the institution and instead assimilated it into his own financial operation. In doing so, he violated the Ten Commandments in that he coveted his neighbor’s goods; and for that sin alone, he should forever burn in hell.

Jerry Falwell was a walking, talking stereotype of everything that is WRONG with religion. Rather than unite people under a mission of peace, Falwell spent his money and influence to pit Americans against each other and to set up institutions whose ultimate agenda was to turn freedom into theocracy and then to spread the myth that this was all part of some grand cosmic destiny. He helped hijack the Republican Party and turned it away from the cause of less government and into a government full of puritanical thugs eager to abuse power. He became part of the religious cabal that political candidates would have to ass-kiss in order to get their support. Even though religious tests are supposed to be expressly unconstitutional, Falwell and the others declared themselves to be the final word for the success or failure of Republican candidates.

And yet for all these things, the only good thing that I can say about Falwell is that at the end of his bloated existence, he WASN’T as bad as some of the other bible-thumping, freedom-hating moralists out there. He wasn’t as bad a Pat Robertson, who was arrogant enough to insist that our government assassinate a foreign leader. He wasn’t like James Dobson or Benny Hinn or Donald Wildmon… or for that matter Fred Phelps.

That’s why the media liked him and why he was a frequent guest on the air-fluffed news programs. He was a caricature of his former self. He became nothing more than the stereotype that he cultivated. His achievements – if you can call them such – were more style than substance. He was, despite his size, a little prick causing so much pain that the only way people could feel better is when he was removed from this mortal coil.

What makes me sick is that now that he’s gone, the media has taken it upon themselves to canonize Falwell, passing off this myth that somehow despite his many sins that he has gone to Heaven to receive his saintly rewards. I’ve got news for you folks: if you truly believe there is such a place, then he’s probably not there. If there is such a thing as cosmic justice for the hereafter, then Falwell will be in the other place of his own creation; the place that he eagerly condemned others to.

So for those of you who think that Jerry Falwell was this frigging saint, you need to understand and accept the reality that the reason why people are singing praises on his passing and dancing on his grave is because of the social divisiveness and polarization that HE helped to generate. THIS is his real legacy. This is what he leaves this world with.